A Wonderful time with the W.A.S.P.S.

Posted on February 11, 2011. Filed under: Widows | Tags: , , |

       Yesterday I had the privilege to spend some time at Richhill Presbyterian Church with the W.A.S.P.S. “Widows And Single PersonS” group.  Treated with tea, fresh scones and buns, I felt spoiled with love by the smiles and excitement of the ladies.  I went there to do a cooking demonstration intertwined with a Bible lesson; but I believe at the end of the day, I learned more than all the women who came.  Every lady had a journey full of experiences and lessons learned from God.  What a privilege to be taught by women who have gone down the road of suffering, and yet continue to turn to their faithful God daily.  If only more people knew the precious gem of wisdom widows have.  In my preparation to speak, I found a website http://www.widowconnection.com/Widow_Connection/Widow_Connection.html.   I recommend all Christian women to browse through it, even if it’s only for a few minutes, just to learn a little about the struggle, solitude and strength widows have.  God mentions widows 103 times in the Bible…. revealing how close they are to His heart.  Take some time to get to know the wise widows around you!  You may not know what to say or how to help, so I have posted an article “7 tips to help a widow” which I found on the website above.

7 tips to help a widow…

1.  Please do stay connected. There is already a huge hole in our universe. Do not assume we need ‘space’ to grieve. 

2.  Please do say you are sorry for our loss.  We would rather you tell us you do not know what to say than tell us your story of loosing your friend or even close relative  We may be able to listen to your story later, but not now. Do not tell us you understand.  

3.  Do call and ask specifically, “Can we go for a walk together? May I run errands for you?  Meet you for coffee?  Do not say, “Call me if you need anything.”  

4.  Do refer to our husband’s acts or words—serious or humorous.  We are so comforted by knowing our husband has not been forgotten. Do not leave our husbands out of the conversation.  

5.  Invite us to anything.  We may decline but will appreciate being asked.  Do not assume we no longer want to participate in couples events. 

6.   Do accept that we are where we are.  Marriages are brief, long, healthy, dysfunctional, intense, remote.  Death comes suddenly or in tiny increments over years.   Again our experiences are so different, as are we.  So is our journey through grief. Do not assume we go through the outlined grief process ‘by the book.’ 

7.   Walk the talk.  Do not make ‘conversation only’ offers.   “We’ll call you and we’ll go out to dinner.”—and then not follow up.  Yes, we are sensitive in our grieving, but we’d rather hear you say, “I’ve been thinking of you.” than make a ‘conversation only’ offer.

 

 

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One Response to “A Wonderful time with the W.A.S.P.S.”

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Thanks for the good advice, Lyns!


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